Tuesday, July 27, 2010

I've never hated anyone as much as I do you.

My older sister, Emily and I always fight. We fought the night she moved to my sisters, we fought when I went to my sister's. We fought when she came home to talk to my mom. We fight every time we see each other. My little sister Abby always has my back. When I fight with Emily, so does Abby. Today the fighting got really bad. I had just woken up, in a great mood, and then my sister walkes into the room and screams "where's my charger?!" we have the same kind of phone chargers and when she moved home she stole mine, so I used hers when my phone had been completely dead for three days because she can't give it back. I said "it's upstairs in my room." she screamed, literally in my face "well then go get it!" I said "you can get it!" and we just began screaming at each other. And because my mother is upset the bitch is going to college, she'll do whatever Emily says, not think Emily is wrong, and defend her to no end. She brought my mom into it and I eventually was made to go and get it. My sister was in the kitchen and my mother told me I needed to grow up, so I said well I'm to busy Babying your eightteen year old. I walked into the dining room with my mom and Emily "charged me like a freaking hippo" (not to steal snooki's words or anything :D) and shoved me into the wall. I imidiatly went into stack mode an punched her back. My mother proceeds to yell at me for hitting her in such a stressful time. My mother then begins to tell me that I am the cause of her marital issues. Me. Hannah. Her child. I begin to cry, and she calls my dad, her husband, to tell him that I was being mean to Emily and that I should not be around Emily and I'm phyco. My mother and sister then go to work and my father comes home. In that who fight with my sister and mom, Abby also began to yell at Emily that she needed help. My dad aske us what happened and I told him the straight truth. My dad said that he was goin to talk to Emily. I then told him that this whole thing with Emily and him and mom were so stressful that I had thought about suicide he started crying and said that he love me and tht things were going to change. I love my dad so much , almost more then my mom sometimes. He's just my voice if reason. I hate my sister. I have no emotional conection with her whatsoever. I'm so done with her.


  1. It's weird, isn't it, that we can love and hate people at the same time? I don't doubt that you hate your sister, but don't you love her too? I guess you could try looking to the part of her that you love, if that park exists.
    I used to get upset all the time. And I would freak out. Then one day, I realized that, what the fuck, it doesn't do anything. So when my mom or sister gets mad and starts randomly screaming at me, I just don't listen. Or say something calmly. And it works, somehow. I don't know if it will solve anything, but maybe this would work. I'm not saying you did anything wrong, so don't take it that way. I'm just trying to help(:
    I'm so glad your dad is there for you and that you told him about your suicide thoughts. When things in the moment are going terribly, just remember that everything will work out in the end.

  2. oh please don't say u hate ur sister. i know it's normal and everything,but i agree with Francesca. there's no way u deep down hate her, you just hate her for now. for the stupid things she can do. want to know how i know u don't really and deep down hate her? because if u truly hated her you wouldn't have been crying. and crying shows u that u hate that u can't like her, and u wish u did. u hate the way things have to be, which brings u to tears. my mom told me this theory, and i think it's pretty accurate, for me at least. it's a good thing that u and ur dad get along, it's usually not that way with teenage daughters. i envy u for that.
    hope this helped :)

  3. Babe,
    Me and my younger brother used to fight all the time, but without him there would be huge gap in my life no one to steel things from, no one to argue with, no oe to put the blame on or indeed back me up. Its hard being the oldest and i was wish that I hasd someone older to look up to (becuse my um had a girl before me but she died before i was born.
    Im going away to uni and my mums pretty streesed about it. I thought i really hate my brother but if anything happened to him, or he died i dont know what i'd do because hes apart of my family. Thats why the other day i got in the middle of the night to get him from a party because i rather he not got stabbed on the way home. Your sisters, one day hopefully you'll understand how special that bond is


  4. That's my house but worse both of my rents are psycho. Also I am very sorry you have to go through this.


Kiss my heart.