Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Who can say if I've been changed for the better, but because I knew you...

I have been changed for good. ♥
Okay. Today. So many different emotions.
Happy, Excited, Hopeful. Flirty. Lovey. Sad. Mad. Lonely. EVERYTHING
I woke up to two text messages this morning. They were sent two minutes after each other. Both, from Michael. At 11:02, and 11:04. "Hey :)". I got them when my alarm went off at 6:40 am. I don't usually wake up until after 7:00. I couldn't go back to bed. I told him that I was sorry, but that I had crashed at 10:30 after Real Housewives of New Jersey. (Who's been watching? OMG, amazing...) He texted me back when he woke up at around 7:00. I just was so excited.
He called me gorgeous.
He called me beautiful.
He called me funny.
He told me he missed me.
Then, the worst thing happened. I told not to tell anyone because his girlfriend would be mad. I legit almost cried. Of course, I did tell someone. Well, someones. Georgi, and Amanda. Amanda was in my PSSA prep class when I got the text message. She told me that it was ridiculous. I feel disgusting. I feel like I'm the other woman. I feel so bad for his GF. But at the same time, he isn't just doing this for the hell of it. He isn't just saying all of this because he feels like it. I've heard multipule times that they aren't doing good. I heard she was a bitch. I wish this could all just figure itself out. We got back to normal after he said that he was with her for a reason. He said he loved her. It was the worst feeling I've ever felt in my life. It was like going down a rollercoaster at full speed, straight down. You lose your stomach. It was like the wind was knocked out of me. I just couldn't shack the gross feeling I had.
I don't know what to do. I just have to move forward, and hope that once summer's here and I won't have to see him everyday, things will get easier.
Three years I have invested in this kid. THREE YEARS. I just feel like he's one of my best friends. I brought up how I didn't like this one girl when we were talking, and he said that I'd told him that before. It's just weird.
Whatever, tomorrow, I'm going to Kennywood with my friends, so that'll put me in a better mood, I hope. I just don't want to think about it anymore.
X's and O's, Hannah. ♥

No comments:

Post a Comment

Kiss my heart.