Tuesday, July 13, 2010

How could you do this to yourself?

I wonder how people Can be bulemic. My older sister Emily had the flu, then gave it to my other sister, Sarah, and her roomate, Emily. I was around all three of them when we watched the OC, and they were sick, then Sarah came to my house and told me to take care of her, so I did. Yesterday, I had volleyball camp 9-4, in the car, I told my mom I thought I had the flu, she said I was probably just worked up and it would pass. Our coaches had the volleyball coach from a local. college come to our school with two of her best players. I've got to say, they kicked my ass. when we broke for lunch, I tried eating some dry cereal, but it didn't taste right. I felt like I could drink water for two hours straight, but I didn't. When my best friend Georgi said she needed to get her ankle wrapped by the physical trainer, I went with her. The trainer took one look at me and told me I was sick. I had sweat pouring off of my face but I was shivering. I felt the urge to throw up, so I told her. When we went to my coach, she told me to go home and sleep and that maybe that would make me feel better. I knew that the other player thought that I was lying, but I didn't care, I knew I was sick. When I got home, I went in the shower, but I couldn't even rinse my conditioner out before I had to throw up. I slept on and off with a constant head ache. within an hour of being home I had thrown up three times. I felt like hell and looked like shit. Right now I'm laying on my couch in my basement trying too cool off, but even with the a/c on 60 and a fan on high pointing on me, I can still feel my fever. I could never imagine why someone would intentionally make themselves throw up. I always have tear streaking my face and sweat on my forehead after I through up. I haven't eatin anything since yesterday at 8:00 am. The smell of my mom cooking dinner made me sick and my sister baked a cake and that was hell. If you ever feel like your body isn't lookin amazing, please promise me that you won't do this? It sucks having to throw up naturally, so just imagine what it would feel like with your finger down your throat. Wish me luck with this suck-ass illness!

P.S.- I'm a drama queen, and I would never, ever, kill myself. I have to much going right to let one wron thing stop me from living my life. And I think my parents are getting back together! And they're getting counsiling! YAY!!!!!!! <3 (:


  1. Even if they don't get back together, seeing someone will help make it all easier for everyone..

  2. I'm so happy about your parents, that's so amazing. I'm really happy for you =) And about the bulimic and anorexic. Sometimes girls just feel like their so fat that they have no other choice but to do just this. I know because I tried both once. I tried making myself throw up but it didn't work...if you want that done you REALLy need to stick ur finger really down ur throat. And I tried not eating but after the second day I was starving and got a bowl of cereal. So I have no idea how some girls do this but they do. And now I know that its wrong and agree tht its terrible. Lots of endless love <3

  3. I totally agree! Hope you feel better! :)

  4. Throwing up sucks indeed :) I don't understand how bulemic people can do it either! I had so much stomachaches one day and I really wanted it to stop, so I thought: when the food's out, the pain will go away. Well, I put my finger in my troat and it didn't even work. You know, I once saw a documentary on tv about a woman who just had to think about throwing up and then did it (so weird)

    Get better soon!

  5. i know, i cannot imagine intentionally throwing up, so gross. they say it burns a hole in your stomach from all the acid in ur throw up and it always feels like your stomach is on fire. also the acid damages the enamel or something on ur teeth so ur more prone to cavities. yeah, not fun. i always start to cry after i throw up cuz it hurts my throat so bad and it tastes disgusting.
    ps. so happy for you. that's great ur parents r going to consouling (did i spell that right? no, i didn't. whatev) :)

  6. I came across your blog, and I really like it :)
    I'm following!
    Mine is http://mythoughts-kaleda.blogspot.com/
    This post was so descriptive, and all I can say is
    And I swear, I will never do something like bulimia--it's just not right. Everyone should be happy with their body, and if they really don't like it, maybe try excersizing! :) or eating veggies. Anyway,
    glad your parents are getting back together, that's so awesome.


Kiss my heart.